Recently I tried to give a fellow writer some exposure. I listed his books on a Youtube video of him. I told him I was going to post video and he saw the camera. Still, I could see how miscommunication could make him angry. However, while doing this, I copied and pasted his bio from his website. In it he was referred to with the pronoun they.
He was furious. I can own my responsibility for my miscommunication However in his note, he said, “I am not a goddamn they.”
I was amazed. And not just because he wrote his own Bio. Here was a person furious that they were referred to by the pronoun they. So obviously they object to people asking to go by a preferred pronoun. How is that?
How does someone rant about how they were called the wrong pronoun, but are angry about someone else’s preferences?
What does he care? Or why is he so concerned about such a small issue which shouldn’t affect him at all. At the same time, a transgendered person is finding their rightful gender. While I do think that transgendered people need to be strong and patient with people, they may need the validation of the right pronoun. Having people use the right pronouns simply moves them forward instead of reminding them that they were misgendered.
So unless, you are struggling with establishing your gender, don’t get upset when someone uses the grammatically correct term of they. If you have the right to be upset then so do others.
“they has been in consistent use as a singular pronoun since the late 1300s”