I was at the open mic at the Sadoff Center. In Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. A person new to poetry read a letter she had written to herself.

I asked her if she was surprised to find that she had positive and encouraging things to say.

 She said yes.

I find this many times. I write about something in a journal and something other than I intend is written on the paper. That, to me, is the process of the brain getting organized by writing. By using different neurons to consider your situations.

Then creating a poem and editing it is a further conversation with yourself. To discover a new way of looking at things. Our minds ramble and we don’t decide what thoughts come into our head. Left unorganized, the negative thoughts win out. If you say you are not good and are a failure, then you will not take risks. Our brains are wired to keep safe.

But writing that letter pulled up ideas her mind ignored. Turning the letter into a poem gave her time with these new ideas and exploring them.

So editing makes a better piece of writing. A better work of art. Here are some examples of revisions I made.

Revised

Time is beautiful when you are young

you to fall in love with it

It excites your every cell

 your face flushes to meet it.

Original

Time is beautiful when you are young

So you fall in love with it

It excites your cells your face shows

your infatuation

Latest revision (add so back in)

Time is beautiful when you are young

So you to fall in love with it

It excites your every cell

 your face flushes to meet it.

Revising helped me find the right image that matches what I want to say and hopefully the right image to reach a reader.

By replacing abstract words, I hope I got closer to what I wanted to say. Because I am being less generic. And by being less generic, I am able to express my own version of the world. There is a juxtaposition that I believe happens here. By being more personal, I actually validate what others are thinking.

Here is another snippet of a poem:

Remember when I lived

on the front porch of your mind

embraced you before

you took on the world

greeted you upon your return

It’s where I wanted to see

life go by.

The painted floor

Cooled my cheek,

In your sunrise

I could set a spell

Whittle words for you.

Revise

It’s where I watched

life go by.

The painted floor

cooled my cheek,

in your sunrise

I stood and stretched

to see the last bit

of you walking away.

Revising told me the poem was about leaving.  I had changed it to sunset because that made more sense during one revision- but it didn’t hit me right. By another revision, I made the person  leaving at the beginning at the beginning of the day. The other person is going out into the world. Not only leaving them forever, but not even giving them one more day.