These are some reflections of the religious language where God is our father:

When your children were young, you controlled their actions.  You were didactic and direct.  If you were doing your job right, you were overbearing.  Say please and thank you.  Don’t touch that. It’s bed time.  Eat your broccoli.  Go to your room.  You need to take a time out.  As children we are capable of lovely acts, but also mean ones.  Our parents sort them out for us.

Consider saying those same comments to an adult.  Besides being silly, they would seem angry.  That’s why as children age, we slowly let them be more autonomous.  We still have rules and we still give consequences.  Yet we also change our tone a little bit and we have to be more open to discussions.  We negotiate a later bedtime as long as the child’s grades are up and she/he is not crabby. 

In the teenage years, we let our children make more decisions.  We are not going to give them timeouts and we are not going to make them eat their dinner.  We provide support and consequences, but we have to move more from rules to guidance and discussions.  They do not make the choices we would, but generally we have to accept them and they work out. 

What happens if we do not switch our guidance?  If we try to control their every moment?  They sneak to do things and the sense of defiance adds to the power of the noncompliance.  Even if they do not act out, once they receive independence, they go wild.  They go overboard with the behavior.  They have sex with a lot of people or drink a lot.

What if God’s relationship with us is similar.  In the cradle of civilization we needed strict rules, a firm hand.  To help us survive.  But as the human race ages, God set new rules and these became the new testament.  The old testament is say please and thank you.  The new testament gives credence to our ability to handle more abstract concepts.  Instead of you need to say words, the testament is guidance that is more sophisticated.  Your fellow man has feelings and is just like you.  Be generous and show gratitude because it is a good thing to do.

As children grow, we do not codify the new relationship.  The old rules fall away.  We still need guidance and some consequences, but some rules parents just stop enforcing.  A toddler touches the stove and we say don’t touch.  However, we want a seventeen year old to touch the stove.