Grousing is a Habit

I was at a wedding where someone made a joke about marriage sucking the life out of a guy.

Before I get too judgmental, I have been guilty of making such a joke. I think several things are going on.

1. Guys like to chide and jab at everybody. If we can make a joke, we usually end up making it.
2. There’s a kernel of truth to the joke. Guys are looking for an outlet to make a comment about someone. There is something that is bothering them, and this is their outlet. Yes, in this case it is a woman, but that’s because his wife is a woman.  
3. They know the joke is not appreciated and they still make it, anyway.

My main takeaway is that I believe that making a joke like this is grousing. Complaining. It’s a pretty common thing for any person.

But for the guy making the joke- The wife is a nag. The wife runs up the credit card.—Then is on the outlook for ways to slip it in whenever they can.

Now the guy is seeking out the negative. And you find what you are looking for. The neurons looking for something to complain about have wired together.

So the grouser and for the outright complainer, begin to have a negative outlook.  Looking for things they can fire off something negative about.

I think that this is because they see things with a negative lens.

Searching out becomes your thoughts and expressing negativity becomes your habit.

A habit is something you do automatically. And your habits determine your life.

It doesn’t do your relationships any favors either.

Now here’s where I relate it to writing. Poetry is about writing down your sadness and your anger. But I think if you keep writing and you become intentional about it, you also express gratitude and describe the happy parts of your life. Yes, you practice gratitude.