There are a lot of angry men nowadays that feel they are being victimized because of who they are. And that is a lot of baloney. It is self-centered.

However, when you get to the core of what causes this, it is hurt. It is not the job of women to fix it. However, everyone should try to understand others’ pain.

This is pretty heady stuff for the point I want to make. And that is that men have feelings.

The stereotype is that men don’t care about feelings. If they can get sex, they will be happy.

However, intimacy goes in both directions.

I wrote a novel called Shattered. It is about a young man who does some terrible things. Things that there is no excuse for. However, it is a novel. As a writer, my character must do things that cause tension and are a heightened sense of reality

However, at the heart of it is that he is hurt. He is loving and vulnerable (we find out) and so when he is hurt, he protects himself by being carnal. Refusing to evaluate the effect of his behavior on others. (Again, this does not excuse men from being a bad person). At a certain point he gets a girlfriend. He wants to be callous and selfish to protect himself. He protects himself from being hurt by hurting people.

This is not out of maliciousness, but of pain. He needs to process his pain and has no way to do so.

And the unfortunate truth is that women internalize their pain and men externalize their pain. Which is why my main character, Mikey, acts out. To turn this down to real life. Men can be distant and uncaring because of conflict in a relationship. Not that they want to be hurtful.

In a normal relationship with a normal guy.

Mikey was just a normal guy, but he slips into mental illness. After a troubled childhood where he felt isolated, he became a road comic. Not only does he become totally isolated (this is before everyone had cell phones) after a long tour on the road, but he must bury grief deep down to perform on stage. Again, I wanted to show extremes to make a compelling story and to give a striking example that will make people think.

Mikey becomes a restraining order guy. And though I want the reader to have compassion for him.

This means he is an unsafe person that no one should have in their lives.

And I hope that he does not resonate with the men that claim victimation becomes of the focus on what women are going through and not their feelings.

So should women realize that many men are isolated and feel no one cares? Yes.

Well sorta. Since I first wrote this, the Cornell incident came to light. This changed my answer. Men’s problems are so much less. It should not be a focus in society.

Somewhere though, is the truth- hurt people hurt people. So ignoring the concerns of anyone does not help.

So, should men get out of the basement, stop playing video games and work on themselves. YES!

There is no orchestrated effort to make men not important. Second class citizens. Just women trying to get equal treatment. Men need to reframe current events and how they look at their life. Take responsibility for their unhappiness.