With the people I work with, I have introduced James Clear’s concept of systems, not goals. He has a book that describes creating routines in each day that will lead to the outcomes you want. He also describes how you just have to get 1% better every day, so you can begin small. If you want to be healthier, then you exercise. It’s okay to start with just putting your shoes out to go running and build from there.
This is great advice and I wanted to apply it to important things. For example, many kids do not back down to conflict. They will not let someone get away with disrespecting them. I told them that it may be too much to just walk away for big things, but they can practice on less stressful events. Walk away when someone is just being annoying.
I also feel it is hard for anyone to share feelings as the result of a bad event or those feelings they keep from everyone. I told them they should begin to share their feelings of small events. Share a minor event. Share how a TV show felt. Then each day, try to get a little bolder.
I do not think this got through. I should have begun with things from my life. For example, I always wanted to lose weight. I set specific goals of how much I wanted to weigh. Most of the time I tried to just get more exercise. Now I try to create healthier habits each day.
I have not reached my goal. However, I am healthier. Each day I try to be a little bit better with eating right and avoid treats.
I also have as one of my goals is to be a writer. The goal I set was to have a book published by a book publisher. As many writers know, it is hard to make the time to write and make it happen. But I set aside small amounts of time. Even if I did not write, I sat down at a table. Slowly I was able to write longer and longer. It became automatic to do so and I miss it if I skipp a day.
Each day I just try to be a better writer. If I only paid attention to my goal, then I would not be a writer. But I am and it is something I enjoy. I have a book self-published. I get published in journals.
Am I thin? Am I a writer that makes any money? No. But I am successful. I live the life I want.