Here is a secret to happiness. It’s easier and more fun to get along with nonabusive people than not to. Maybe that sounds like common sense to you. But for a long time I thought I enjoyed being a thorn. In giving people what they deserve. And I don’t think I’m alone on this.
There are some people that are abusive mentally and physically. We need to make sure they are not in our lives. We cannot try to get along with them, because we get hurt even being close to them.
For those not toxic, we must do our best to put past hurts behind us. For example, I had a coworker that I felt had wronged me. It was turned into a huge thing. Part of the problem was that I didn’t want to let it go. Who ended up in trouble? I did.
For a long time, I was afraid at work. That my coworker would make more trouble for me. In fact that person did try.
But then my anger turned to pity. I felt sorry that they reacted to things in an angry way. For myself, I did not want to do it either. Things got so much easier, when I felt bad for that person.
Eventually, I was able to look for inroads. If I could do something to help them out (something good for the order) I decided I was going to do that. I was not going to let what others did to persuade me from the high road. (Not that I am even defining the road they were taking. I’m sure they see things differently).
Eventually good interactions took place. They were so much more enjoyable than being petty. I have come to enjoy interacting with this person. At times, the past creeps back in my head. I ask myself what I’m doing. But I answer, enjoying myself. And I don’t want to stop doing that.