I am looking for the best piece of advice. One line of guidance that is succinct and if you could only learn one thing, it would be the thing to know.
Right now, I believe it might be this: Challenge your hostile thoughts.
We are what we think (also a good one line of wisdom). Unfortunately our brains are focused on the negative. There are chemistry answers for that. There are evolution theories on why. It is also a behavioral reinforcement thing.
To survive in this world, we must avoid bad things. People, risky behaviors, bears. The mind is rewarded by saying “avoid that!”
It is rewarded by cutting yourself down. It wants you to believe that you are not good enough. You are stupid. Because there is safety in not doing things.
Seeing the bad in people is also a protective behavior. If you don’t trust, you don’t risk.
It protects your fragile self-esteem- the same esteem it is also knocking apart. You feel better to see other people as the problem.
So hostile thoughts come up. Sometimes they are accurate, but mostly they are not. So I think everything begins with challenging your thoughts. Come up with a plausible way that what you are saying is the opposite. Many times, you will see that is what is happening. I believe that at least you will see it from the other person’s point of view.
Do you have a piece of advice you’d like everyone to hear?