In my novels Shattered and No More Ugly Girls, I explore themes like resilience, identity struggles, the complexities of human relationships, and the search for meaning. My writings also touch on alienation, despair, and are influenced by my Midwestern upbringing and sense of humor.

I did not intend to write about trauma and depression. I just wrote what I thought was important. At the same time, I did not set out to teach kids about Happiness Skills (I did lean into it). The result is a summary of the things I studied, saw in children, and then presented.

Scientists tell us: to have a good life we should each day:

1. make a list of the things you are thankful for -on paper or think it.

2. make a list of what you are good at (I’m fast. I’m nice……)

3. Treat your body well-                     

a. Eat good food

b. Be active

c. Wash your hands with soap.

4. Get enough sleep- our brain solves problems while we sleep

a. ¤Avoid screens before bedtime this helps us fall asleep

5. Do things to calm down- (relieve stress)- breath, meditate, have hobbies

a. Take deep breaths when mad

b. Have hobbies- read, color, draw, ride a bike, collect things

c. Find quiet times in your day.

6. Remember all feelings are okay

a. Feelings help you get along with people

b. Being sad or worried tells you something is wrong.

c. Ignoring your feelings turns into problems

7. Go outside-it calms us down and think good thoughts

8. Be kind to others

9. Be careful of what you say- once you say it, you can’t unsay it.

10.  Talk nicely to yourself

11.  When you make a mistake, tell yourself what you would say to your best friend- It’s okay. You’ll do better next time.

12.  Forgive people- Everyone makes mistakes. Let go of grudges.

13.  Be around good people, avoid friends that are not nice to you

14.  Take a break when upset- wait for our thinking brain to kick back in

15.  Bad and sad thoughts happen- tell yourself- It’s just because a thought came into my head does not mean it’s true.

16.  Try to ignore bad thoughts. They lead to bad emotions. Bad emotions lead to bad behaviors. Bad behaviors lead to more bad thoughts.

17.  Try to think good thoughts. They lead to good emotions. Good emotions lead to good behaviors. Good behaviors lead to more good thoughts.

18.  Use coping skills. Do things that help you calm down or forget about your problems for a little bit.

a. If people don’t use helpful coping skills, they use hurtful coping skills. They make you feel better at first, but then later, worse.

                                                   i. For kids these include:

1. Hitting, yelling and throwing things

2. Staying away from people, not talking things out.

3. Refusing to go to school. Running away.

b. Older people use dangerous coping skills. They need to learn helpful ones.

19. Don’t say I have to________, say I get to _____________.

a. We all have things we have to do that we do not want to do. So you may as well not be upset by it. Find a reason that makes you say I get to do it.

                                                   i. Example, I have to go to school today. Think: I get to go to school because: My friends are there. Some kids in the world would like to go to school and can’t.

20. Replace a bad habit with doing something good.

a. For example, instead of playing a game on a tablet before bed, listen to some music.